Strategies for Managing Emotions in Mediation

Mediation can be a challenging space for managing emotions because it necessarily involves navigating conflicts or disputes.

Often the conflicts are personal; one side perceives they have been harmed by another, either physically or financially, and it is often difficult to separate the underlying facts of the dispute from the claim that needs to be resolved.  Therefore, it is important for the mediator to employ appropriate strategies for dealing with emotions during the mediation, and many of these strategies apply equally to counsel for the parties in the proceeding.

The following are some guidelines for the mediator in managing emotions during the process:

• Acknowledge Emotions: One of a mediator’s most essential skills is setting up a process to manage the unavoidable emotions that the parties experience, including anger, frustration, and fear. First and foremost, it is important to recognize that emotions are natural and to be expected; therefore, acknowledging them is crucial. Encourage all parties to express their emotions openly and respectfully, particularly when in caucus when sharing personal perspective is necessary to get at what a party may need for the process to be successful, but is less likely to cause an adverse reaction in the other side.  When communicating one party’s position to the other, acknowledging emotions can create an atmosphere of understanding and empathy.  Handling the parties’ emotions does not mean minimizing or disregarding them as problems to overcome. On the contrary, there is value in welcoming them as part of the process and outcome, harnessing the constructive power of emotions to help the parties gain closure.
• Set Ground Rules: Establish ground rules at the beginning of mediation, outlining expectations for behavior and communication. This helps manage emotions by creating a structured environment.
• Active Listening: Listen actively and empathetically to the concerns and emotions expressed by each party. It can be useful to use a mirroring technique; reflecting back what you’ve understood about what a participant has communicated can help validate their feelings, making them feel heard and respected.
• Stay Neutral: As a mediator, maintaining neutrality is essential. It helps create an environment where parties feel they are being treated fairly. Avoid taking sides or showing bias towards any party.  That does not mean the information should not be shared.  It is very important to help one party understand that emotion may be affecting the other party’s ability to make decisions or that the emotional component has to be considered when contemplating what an agreement looks like. 
• Encourage Breaks: Emotions can escalate during mediation. Encourage breaks when tensions rise too high. Stepping away can provide parties with time to cool down and gather their thoughts.
• Reframe Perspectives: Help parties reframe their perspectives on the situation. Encourage them to view the issue from the other party’s point of view. This can foster empathy and understanding, reducing emotional tension.
• Consider Skipping the Joint Session: Dealing with emotions in a joint session is most difficult.  It always helps to meet with each party before the joint session to determine what the parties’ preference is for the joint session and what to expect in that part of the process.  The mediator may determine that one or both sides are so angry at the other that having an opening session might ignite that anger making a joint session counterproductive. 
• Use of Caucuses: If emotions are hindering progress among parties that went into the process thinking they were aligned, consider conducting separate caucuses with each party and/or counsel. This allows individuals to express their emotions freely and discuss sensitive issues more comfortably.  Also consider communicating only with counsel if need be.  One of the most difficult aspects of a mediation can be making sure that the client is heard and understands that ultimately, they are in charge of decision making, while also being able to digest the nuances and realities of the case from both a liability and damages standpoint, which may not always align with the client’s emotional take on the case.  There needs to be an opportunity for the attorney to convey any concerns without making the client feel that counsel is not appropriately advocating for them. 
• Focus on Interests: Shift the focus from positions to interests. Encourage parties to identify underlying needs or concerns rather than sticking rigidly to their initial demands. This can reduce emotional attachment to specific outcomes.
• Normalize Emotions: Remind participants that emotions are a natural part of conflict resolution. Normalize the expression of feelings, emphasizing that it’s okay to feel upset, frustrated, or angry, but it’s essential to communicate these emotions respectfully.

Dealing with emotions during mediation requires patience, empathy, and effective communication.

By creating a safe space for expressing emotions and employing strategies to manage them constructively, mediators can help parties navigate conflicts more effectively toward resolution.

The following are some strategies to help the parties themselves deal with emotions during the process:

• Stay Objective: Try to detach yourself emotionally from the case. Focus on the facts, evidence, and legal strategies rather than personal feelings.
• Seek Support: You may want to have a trusted friend or family member with you during the mediation, or available to you by phone, to provide support.  Keep in mind that the mediation process is confidential; therefore, anyone participating must agree to keep the information learned private. 
• Focus on the Big Picture: Remember the ultimate goal and stay focused on it. Understand that emotions might run high during litigation, but the goal in mediation is to reach a fair resolution.  This will require both sides to consider the position of the other and try to view the issues and obstacles to resolution without the emotional lens as much as possible.
• Take Breaks: If the process is getting to be too much, take a break.  Walk around.   Get some air.  Make sure you are eating and not getting too tired.
• Be Flexible: Things might not always go as planned. Being flexible and adaptable can help you handle unexpected developments during the process more effectively.
• Legal Counsel: Rely on your legal counsel for guidance. They are experienced in handling litigation and can provide valuable advice on navigating emotions within the legal process.
• Prepare and Organize: Being well-prepared can alleviate some stress. Stay organized with your documents, deadlines, and communication related to the case.
• Control Communication: Be mindful of what you say and how you say it, especially in joint session. Keep your language professional and avoid heated exchanges.

Remember, mediation is a process that requires patience and focus on reaching common ground. It’s natural to experience emotions, but managing them effectively can contribute to a more positive experience throughout the mediation.